Affirmation Party, the Cure for Imposter Syndrome

I held my first affirmation party last week. I know you’re asking, what is that? It’s a party where people get together to talk about their achievements, affirm themselves as well as others, and be validated in existing instead of their accomplishments.

It’s something I’ve wanted to try out for a while. I have been feeling really down on myself lately. And one thing I know is if I’m feeling down, sad or Imposter Syndrome other people are feeling it too. I decided to put out a beacon to my friends to see if they wanted to join me in uplifting myself and others; virtually of course.

This party is for people who feel alone outside of their big accomplishments like graduating from school, a new job, a new baby, a marriage. It’s also for people who don’t feel celebrated. Sometimes we feel like no one is checking for us. But we have to check for ourselves and know that our circle is always there for us. It’s to reassure and remind us that we are loved. Sometimes we look for validation in the wrong places; through likes, retweets, follows, views, and engagement. And we have to stop that. I know social media is a huge part of our lives but there’s no need for us to feel validated created by men. And especially Black women, Black content creators, etc, we cannot calculate our worth based on something white men made.

Now that you know what it is, I want to walk you through how to host your own!

My beacon went out on Facebook asking people if they will come to my affirmation party.

A post from my HTTP://ww.Fb.gg/JunaeBenne

With this type of response, I started planning the format of the party.

2. Where to Host the Virtual Gathering

I found a virtual space that would work for everyone. An app named Houseparty. This app is available on all mobile platforms. You send invites to Houesparty by text message. I began gathering everyone’s phone number, sending out invites, and let them know the party is at 6 pm CST.

3. How to Start the Party: Boasting

As the host, the party began with a type of ice breaker. But honestly, I hate those. I understand I’m dealing with introverts and extroverts alike. So instead of using a game like, my name is Junae and I like Juice! I said,

“Boast about yourself like someone is going to give you 3 billion dollars. Not tell me why you deserve it, not sell me yourself, not convince me. Tell me why you’re lit for 3 billion dollars.”

This is very important because too often we have to sell ourselves to people for acceptance, validation, or a job. I don’t want to create that environment.

I am loved. A page from Affirmations for the Little Black Girl in You.
A page from Affirmations for the Little Black Girl in You.

I start off by listing how I see myself, how I would like to see myself, and positive affirmations. For example, “I’m a writer, content producer, and published author. I’d like to grow my platform,” I continue by affirming myself.

I am sure. I am creative. I am prosperous. Money comes to me. I am not defined and validated by likes, my content, or viewership.

I set the tone and give the example of stating accomplishments because we often downplay or overlook our accomplishments. We don’t dwell on them as much as we do the mistakes. We need to acknowledge the “small” things like, I was on time for a doctor’s appointment. I drank 8 glasses of water today. I woke up in time to eat breakfast. Every little bit counts.

I also admitted somethings I was struggling with. This piece is very important because this isn’t just pushing down all the negativity and only thinking positively. If we do that, it’ll just creep up later when we’re alone. I continued by saying,

“I’ve been dealing with a lot of rejection lately because I am transitioning creatively, still searching for a job, and freelancing is picking it up, but it’s nerve-racking.”

This opens up the atmosphere for vulnerability. To be honest, I even started crying.

4. Now it’s Time to Affirm Our Guests

After everyone boasts on their self, next is me affirming everyone. This part is easy for me because I personally know everyone who is at the party. I begin to tap into personal memories and tell my friends,

“You are kind. As a mother, you are just. As my friend you are patient. You are trustworthy.”

And I follow up with personal examples of why I believe these affirmations.

An Affirmation Party can be hosted with people you want to get to know better. If that is the case, the boasting portion is very important. When people talk about themself, their passions will come up, and you’ll get a feel for their personality. Then you’ll be able to honestly affirm the things you hear them talk about.

I am the beauty standard. A page from Affirmations for the Little Black Girl in You.
A page from Affirmations for the Little Black Girl in You.

5. Have your Guest Affirm Other Attendees

I gave the guests the option to affirm everyone if they were comfortable enough to do so. Granted, the common link with the guests is me. So I can understand, especially during the first affirmations party ever, if they didn’t feel comfortable affirming one another. Especially when some were having trouble affirming themself.

6. Enjoy Each Other’s Company

There’s no need to cut the party short. We just started bonding. Now that everyone feels comfortable with one another, here comes the games. This is the prime reason why I choose Houseparty. It can host eight people at once and it has games that we can all play. Games like Uno, trivia games, Quick Draw, and more. We all start playing games and increase the bond between my friends and me. As well as opening up for them to make new friends.

I received a lot of good feedback about the affirmation party. And I wanted to share it with you, so you can host your own affirmation party with your friends.

The cover of Affirmations for the Little Black Girl in You.
The cover of Affirmations for the Little Black Girl in You.

Also, if you aren’t aware. I crafted a journal, Affirmations for the Little Black Girl in You. This journal is filled with over 50 affirmations and journal prompts to help you believe the things you say to yourself. I referenced this during the party. I would flip through the journal, pick an affirmation, and explain why I believed it about myself or my friend. I enjoy sharing affirmation with everyone because I know sometimes we need some outside help to encourage us through rough times. And this is the roughest time of all. We’re in a pandemic. Remember that as Imposter Syndrome and negative thoughts about yourself start to creep in.

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Junae Benne

Junae Benne

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Junae Benne, first of her name, player of video games, voice of justice and equality, writer of literature & memes.